New element discovered! The "Administratium"

[Kostas Petritis]

For all of you that have experienced the effect of this element you will appreciate the announcement:

A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. This new element has been tentatively named “Administratiumâ€

[skunked_once]

Further investigation has shown that this new element is universally distributed in all organized structures

[Noser222]

Administratium has been known to form a complex with Chairmanium, Boardium, Presidentium, Executivium, and Directerium known as Beaurocracium.
It also has been known to scavenge the entire supply of Salarium.

[GOM]

and you end up with things like this from the Safety people - now called Safety and Environment - this is a genuine one from 2 weeks ago from the place where I work



Ralph

[Noser222]

Great...since I'm also Safety and Chemical Hygiene Officer, I guess I'll be needing to have keychain training for everyone.

[Uwe Neue]

The reorganization of Administratium is fun to watch. Multiple morons and neutrons exchange positions and become active for a short period of time, emitting large quantities of memos. It is believed that these memos form a protective layer around the different subsections of Administratium, and that completion of this layer puts Administratium to rest again.

[bert]

I remember this one:

Please remember that working closely with either Administratium or morons is extremely hazardous; only small quantities should be observed at any one time, and direct exposure should be avoided at all costs. This is especially true of Administratium, which will cling to the skin and somehow attract still more particles, eventually weighing the victim down until he or she is almost incapable of movement. Removal of the Administratium is possible, but only at great cost and with significant risk to the victim.


Eric A. Meyer

[Russ]

Administratium is not a symmetrical element. The neutrons collect to one part of the atom. The part without the neutrons is referred to the head of the atom while the neutrons are located at the tail.

There are some compounds which form an association with Administratium. The best of these are succinates. This association occurs by a "back-side" attack process. This can cause major rearrangements of the neutrons. During the rearrangement process when the succinate is either associated or rejected, some useful product may be obtained in the presence of Administratium. Once the association is completed, the normal very slow formation of useful product is observed.

The slowness of reactions involving Administratium are thought to be due to the formation of clusters with the reactants. These clusters form flocs which will then fall out of solution. Very large clusters and flocs have been observed and the larger the cluster, the larger the floc, and the less product is formed. Under appropriate conditions the clusters can also be formed by an applied electrical or magnetic flux. These flux clusters also further inhibit product formation.

Administratium is generally not subject to attack by free radicals. Most free radicals are, in fact, destroyed upon contact with Administratium. However, there is one type of free radical, called Consultantyl, which can form an association with Administratium. After consultation, the formation of any useful product in the presence of the consulted Administratium complex appears to completely stop.

[gcguy]

This association occurs by a "back-side" attack process.

Does this lead to the breakdown product Aholeium?

[GOM]

So, as John Wayne would have said, it a case of "Get the floc outta here!"

Ralph