1. resin shrinking/swelling - is there some general trend i.e. shrinks more in buffer of higher concentration or pH.
Other things being equal, pH has little effect. The resin will shrink at higher buffer concentration (you can visualize this as an osmotic effect sucking the water out of the resin). The resin will shrink/swell as you convert from one ionic form to another. The volume depends on the degree of hydration of the counterion, so generally the H+ form is the smallest, and the resin swells for other ionic forms. The degree of swelling depends on the crosslinking of the resin (lower crosslinking allows more shrink/swell).
Should I pack at highest shrinking to achieve tight packing?
No single answer there. Depends on the crosslink, the counterion, and the buffer concentrations to be used. If two much swelling occurs after the column has been packed, you could see flow/pressure problems.
2. When the column is slurry packed, then mobile phase flows through to achieve settling of the bed, is it beneficial to reverse the flow on the column??
My experience has been that if the column has been well packed in the first place, the flow direction does not matter.