Heh, remember the software developer who outsourced his job to someone in China? I bet it was nice while it lasted... probably not a solution that fits the bill here here, though.
What areas you are most interested in and how specialized or broad are your responsibilities? Different people learn differently. If it were me, I'd probably start with general chemistry to get the lay of the land (basic concepts, vocabulary) before going too deep into the specific areas that relate to my job. If my task was to become an expert on Berlin, I'd read a bunch of Wikipedia articles about Europe, then a 200 page book about Germany, then a 1000 page book about Berlin itself.
So quite seriously, if you really don't know the first thing about chemistry, learn the first things about chemistry. Grab the low-hanging fruit unless you're really sure you won't need it. You asked about a book for dummies - how about you read "Chemistry for Dummies?" The books I've seen from that series were actually quite good (though admittedly, they were about Philosophy, Catholicism, and Auto Repair - so I don't know for sure how well they do with science). You can spend a weekend on your deck with a cooler full of beer and get through a book like that without feeling burned out.
