Things that you don't want to hear in a chromatography lab.

[jzt]

This happened at my first job in the US, in the AR&D department of a top 10 big pharma company.

I needed to release a small lot of material for toxicology studies. On the test results form, the mobile phase was listed as "48% water/52% acetonitril/0.1% TFA". The associate director who was supposed to sign it that month thought he caught a mistake: "your mobile phase components don't add up to 100%!" I wanted to give him a lecture right then, but was sure it wouldn't change his mind. I had a deadline to meet, so I changed it to "47.9% water/ 52% acetonitrile /0.1% TFA". He signed it triumphantly, so proud of his math skills. As I left his office, I was so glad that my name did not show on that piece of paper.

Two years after this, he was prompted to be the head for that entire department of > 100 people.

[DR]

...Two years after this, he was prompted to be the head for that entire department of > 100 people.

I'd have changed it to: 48% 0.1%TFA/52% ACN. Then I'd have tried to get him to make me a liter of 50% MeOH/Water so I could berate him for having come up short... "about those math skills..."

[Consumer Products Guy]

I'd state as 48% (0.1%TFA in H2O)/52% ACN. Hope the promoted guy can count his 100 people.

[HbJ]

- "Why does the system lose all pressure three seconds after the gas is switched off?" Turned out the second stage of a pressure regulator had a huge leak which ate up a complete bottle of 5.0 HE
- "That liner is stuck. Get me drill to tear it out". Priceless.
- "The GC beeps. Is that bad?" Heating probe was dead.
- "The GC oven heats like there's no tomorrow. Make it stop!" A piece of tinfoil had fallen onto the heating wires of the box which caused the massive heating. Almost killed a Carbowax column.
- "The temperature of that GC is arbitrary. Make it work!" The dial switch was broken and short-circuited the temperature controller.
- "The GC heats beyond all limits! Red alert!" The gate of the TRIAC for the oven control short-circuited and gave full throttle to the heating.
- "That GC switches itself off in random intervals. It's broken, get me a new one!" The fuse for one phase was a tiny bit too short so it produced a labile connection.
- "That box produces EEE on its display. WTF?!" The Varian 3700 had a little shipping accident which hit the switch for "FAN only, OFF, FAN&HEATING". But the switch was intact. The capacitor which should dejam the switch was destroyed and produced a connection between earth and phase which confused the hell out of the electronics.
- "My PTV heating is dead. It's the second within one week. Is that bad?" Sure it was! It was an older DANI box (DANI 6500) with a PTV. The injector is heated with compressed air whose flow rate is check with some kind of pressure switch. That switch has an unhealthy tendency to keep stuck in the "ON" position which tells the GC that the line is pressurized. If the system is now in the "AIR" or "AUTO" mode without air it keeps heating and heating without air which is supposed to carry the heat away. That way you can easily blow many PTV heatings in a very short time. The remedy (recalibrate switch) takes about 5 minutes.

[Noser222]

Slightly off topic, but I actually saw this on a paper coming through on the fax machine:

Deviation: No Batch Record
Corrective & Preventive Action: Write Batch Record

Other things that come to mind...I saw some samples of carbohydrate polymers giving some ugly degraded looking peaks and was told they'd been sonicated. I asked when they sonicate, and was told "Only when we have to" and was further told that they do this when they don't have time to shake the samples for the amount of time the SOP instructs.

One day a fire alarm went off and half the people didn't feel like evacuating the building. One of the chemists said that he wouldn't leave unless he saw another chemist running.

[Noser222]

Also, noticed a little friendly organic chemist bashing. I started out doing synthesis and have sinced worked in analytical, so I've been on both sides of this arguement:

"It's pure; the TLC has only one spot!"

[phenol guy]

When I was a QC technician I had an operator come in and ask where "Carl" was? I said "Carl' who? He replied "Karl Fisher, I have a sample for him." It was difficult to keep my composure.